My Fat A$$

I've shared a lot about myself over the last few months.  Some of that sharing even included some shots of me shirtless.

That sort of behavior is very unlike me.

But, given these changes in my life, I suppose this day (today) was always going to come.

The day when we talked about my derrière.

Relax. I haven't come down with a case of Montezuma's Revenge.

It's worse than that.

Gang, it turns out that my keister is just too big for my pants:

No sooner had the right cheek side been mended than the left glute-section started ripping too.

Good thing my Mom taught me how to sew back when I was a kid.

I'm pretty sure her version didn't include multiple different stitching techniques, thread colors, duct tape and/or super glue though...

I'm not saying I used all of the above.  But I'm not not saying it either.

While you figure what that means, I've ordered this to get my act in rear.  I mean gear...

Ok, I'm done with this terrible joke/post now...

The Great Ocean Road

Welcome to the Great Ocean Road, Southern Victoria, Australia. 

The road is officially the world's largest war memorial and was built in between 1919 and 1932 as a tribute to the soldiers who fought and died in World War One. 

I think that Australia has to have the most helpful road signage in the world.  First, there are heaps of them.  You can't go a klick without seeing one of some sort.  Second, their information ranges from which side of the road to drive on, to telling you to take a power nap if you're tired, to getting your smoke detectors checked, to various wildlife that may be seen crossing the road in the vicinity (despite the warnings, I saw none.).

The drive winds around the coast of Australia south of Melbourne for about 300K.  So, needless to say there is a lot of water and beaches along the way. 

There are heaps of Lighthouses on the coast, but it hasn't stopped it from getting the nickname "Shipwreck Coast" on account of the more than 638 known wrecks that have occurred here. 

If there had been internet, I was going to send this to you all as a "Happy Monday" post with a wish for luck.  Now all I can do is wish you luck!

A place called Parker's Inlet.  Nothing fabulous about it other than its name, of course. 

The London Arch

The most celebrated stop is the Twelve Apostles (though really there are only 8 left due to the constant erosion):

It's odd that it is the second version of the Twelve Apostles that I've seen and neither has actually had twelve (the one in Cape Town has 17 or something like that).   I wonder how many more of these there are in the world?  New bucket list item!

Anyway, I took a load of pictures, so I could keep posting for days.  I think you get the idea though.

I think the Garden Route in South Africa was better as a drive.  But they didn't have Koalas and Kangaroos.   So, maybe it is a same-same, but different thing.  Either way, I still really enjoyed it.

Gettin' Wild on the Great Ocean Road

The Internet has been in short supply (or incredibly expensive - $10-15/hr -- which is out of my retirement budget) here on the Great Ocean Road, so today I'm writing you from a Library.

Yeah, they still have those things.

It's nice to be surrounded by the smell of books after living off of a Kindle for so long.

But we're here to talk about life on the road.  And there, I've been surrounded by animals.

Koalas, Echidnas, Emus, Whales, Kangroos, and Wallabies to be exact.  Sadly, the Wombat and the Platypus have proved elusive so far, but I'm still hoping to find some.

In the meantime, we'll start with the Koala.  They aren't bears, they are marsupials.  And they aren't friendly, despite their cute, Yoda-like appearances:

I may have found some active ones, but mainly they do a lot of the below.  I've read that they sleep a lot to conserve energy because they don't digest the food they eat very well.   But, that food also makes them drunk, so there is little incentive for them to change.  

Basically, the "lovable" little Koalas are all marketing, but are actually no different from a junkie.  

If they were humans, they would've been put on a 12 step process to eating something else and being more productive during the day.

Echidna - One of only two mammals to lay eggs.  The other?  The Platypus (Travel gods, let me see one!).  Not sure why they both are native to Australia.  Weird.

Emu - the World's third largest Bird.  

Whales - It is a bit early for the Whale season here, but I was lucky enough to catch this guy.  Most likely a Southern Right Whale up from Antarctica for the Winter.

Sheep - Some of my former colleagues are familiar with this guy, sans coastal cliffs and a few more months of growth.   The only place I've seen more sheep is in Ireland.  They're everywhere!

Kangaroos/Wallabies - I was told last night that I may not have seen a Kangaroo after all.  These are a little small, and thus probably Wallabies.  Whatever, I'm counting it. 

A funny side note from that conversation.  As I sat in the hostel last night, an Australian Mother and Daughter asked what they shouldn't miss while on the Great Ocean Road.  I, of course, started listing off all the sites where they could find the above animals. 

There response was, "We're Australian.  We call those things road kill here. Got anything else?" 

To which I say this: 

More pictures of the stunning coastline later, it has been well worth the drive!

Falling for Sydney...

I didn't realize how much I missed Fall after being in warm climates for the majority of the last 4 months.

Well, the weather is perfectly fall here is Sydney.  Crisp air and all.  And I'm loving it.

When I arrived, my friend Freya...  You remember Freya, right?  From Turkey?

Anyway, she picked me up at the airport and then made me take a shower when we got to her place.   She was the one who dubbed me "Sweaty Parker" and I'm sure she just didn't want to take any chances.

It's gone up from there.  Considerably.  Once I had freshened, we ventured off to a a wonderful Harbor Cruise on a 52' Ketch that she had set up with a family friend.  I got full a tour of Sydney Harbor and of course a view of the Bridge and Opera House from the Water.    Of course, the weather could not have been better!

I have heaps (to use an Aussie phrase) more pictures of this place.  It's very photogenic.   I'll post some more to the Tumblr page. 

The next day I did a walking tour of Sydney -- complete with a visit to the Fish Market, where I found some Oysters and Pelicans and some more time around the Opera House.

Oh, and this guy too!

From there I spent two days hiking in the Blue Mountains setting up base in Katoomba and walking around Leura and Katoomba Falls, in addition to the Three Sisters!

Sweaty Parker reappeared for real!

The Leura Cascades

Katoomba Falls

The Three Sisters!

The Panorama of Solitary Mountain and the Valleys of the Blue Mountains.

And then a day walking along the Cliffs at Bondi Beach, even going for  a (brief) swim.  The air was chilly, but it felt great!  Seeing as how I likely won't be able to swim in Southern Australia (and maybe again on this trip) it was well worth the chill.

That's all from Sydney for now.  Catch you all from the Great Ocean Road.  A big thanks to Freya, and her family, for being such amazing hosts!

Eat, Pray, Love

That's not what this trip is about!!!! But, I'll use it because of the boat we saw!

It's been awhile since my last substantive post.  I've been busy, but before completely moving on from Indonesia to Australia, I'll share some pictures and reflections...

Our favorite part of Indonesia was the Gili Islands and the views of Lombok.  When I come back to Indonesia, I'll start there.  Bali, and with no offense intended towards the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.,  is just too over-developed.  In fact, it's one of the worst offending stops my Asia trail.

Parts of Bali were great and beautiful, however.  And with more time we would've had stayed in those locations.  Overall, it is not the unspoiled paradise I had maybe thought it would be.  But if you want a Dunkin Donuts whilst on vacation, I suppose there are worse places you could go.

Our trip to the Gili's kicked off the beauty we found in Indo.

A side note about the Gili's, where I dove 5 times; the sea life is quite good, which is surprising because the reefs have been destroyed as a result of the now discontinued practice of Bomb Fishing.  Which is.... exactly what it sounds like.   At least it still is beautiful above the water!

Mt. Batur, an active volcano,  looms on Bali in the distance.

The Rice Terraces of Ubud.  We saw it at tail end of the Harvest season, so much of the terraces had been cleared, but we got this section!

Indonesia is a predominantly Islamic nation, but the island of Bali is mainly Hindu.  We found this Hijab one of the more amusing culture clashes we saw on Bali. 

Outside of Ubud, we ran across a field filled with motorbikes.  Well it turned out to be a massive cockfighting arena.  While I'm still unsure about how I feel about cock fighting, the unfortunate losers  fate's are generally determined quickly and their meat doesn't go to waste.

The Rooster Line-up:  Each crate holds a potential payday!  Or a shattered dream...

Right before the fight, the betting erupts!

We also spent some time with the elephants: 

ROXY!

She smelled though!

And of course we miss the night markets and Bintangs!

Our go-to spot on Gili T!

We stayed at a Villa in Ubud.  And we had it all to ourselves for the two nights we were there.  It was awesome.  And, one of the few that I can recommend to any traveler that is looking for a nice place to stay in Ubud vs. just backpackers.  Though, we did have this guy watching over us one night: 

The biggest Gecko I've ever seen!

More to come soon from the last few days in Sydney and the Blue Mountains.  The Harbor and the Opera House are as cool in person as I'd imagined!